Life of a Miller

Good Morning peeps!!! Hope everyone is doing well... We are officially in the swing of craziness!!  I made the mistake of looking over my calendar & about flipped out over what all we have going on..  See all the little dots? This means we have something scheduled for this day!

Blue Devil Spring football kicks off today!!!  Dawson's 1st machine pitch game was scheduled to start today too but I just got a message due to the rain & muddy fields it has been cnacelled.  The rest of the week will be ball practice, gymnastics, church, ball games, and getting ready to go out of town.. I am super excited about our weekend coming up!! We will get to hang out with our families, friends, and I will be attending a very special friend's wedding shower!!! I always love coming home to visit!

We have been busy busy!! Tony and myself decided to take last Monday off for a date day with NO kids!! We enjoyed lunch together & a little retail therapy! I am super stoked about my new cute outfits!!!  We finished up Brooklyn's 1st science project. Brooklyn also performed in the High School Spring musical Saturday night. She was really nervous and excited. Bless her heart she was about a foot-2 feet shorter than everyone else so I am sure she felt overwhelmed. We got caught up on laundry for the 1st time in who knows when, got the house cleaned up, and I cooked dinner for the week. I am hoping a little organization will help keep me sain during Spring ball/Baseball season...

Well here are a few pictures from the last couple week! Hope everyone enjoys!!!

And remember to be an encourager, smile at a stranger, and enjoy your week!!!

Little Game of basketball

Not sure why he has a helmet guess his sister is rough!

Brooklyn ready to perform Do Re Mi

Coach & Myself

1st Science Project

New Outfit from Pink Coconut

Little partner in crime

Playing Blocks with Coach

Sweet Sisters

My 1st ice cream cone

Parenting

This is such a sensitive subject and a little personal but something that has been weighing on my mind and my heart so I feel like I need to blog about this for my own self..  Just a warning this may be long because my mind races 90 to nothing on this subject.

This time 9 years ago I was 7 month pregnant with our 1st child a little girl who would forever change our lives.  I will never forget the day we found out we were having a baby. I had gone to the store and bought a pregnancy test and after 3 short minutes I saw 2 faint pink lines. My heart started beating like crazy so bad I thought oh my gosh this is the end I am having a heart attack. 7 pregnancy test later that were all positive I walked into the kitchen where Tony & Judy were cooking dinner with tears streaming down my face. All I could do was hold my hand out and ask what are we going to do? Looking back at Tony's answer now it was quite funny but I didn't find it amuzing at the time. He simply responded we are going to have a baby. My mind immediately turned to fear.. I can't do this I mean I am just a kid myself!  Then the fear of when people find out what are they going to say about me? I mean I was by far from perfect but I didn't want people saying things about me because here I am 19 years old and pregnant. Once the shock of finding out we were going to be parents wore off the excitement of the thought of becoming someones Mom was like no other.  Shortly after finding out we were having our sweet girl a song came out "There Goes My Life" and it is so true.  The chorus says it all: There goes my life, there goes my future my everything, there goes my life. I heard people say you will know what it is like to have your heart walking outside your chest when you become a parent & they hit the nail on the head with that statement!

I always knew I wanted to be someone's Mommy since I was just a little girl. No one could have ever prepared me for the emotions I felt on Wednesday July 7th, 2004 at 9:56pm. At this very minute I learned what true love was as I met my beautiful blue eyed baby girl. This little girl changed everything for me at that very moment. How could such a small little girl bring such a huge life change? That night everyone that we love was there to welcome this blessing into the world with us. I still tear up thinking about all the people who not only love us but her too!  So it was just us, God, and a new baby against the world...

Almost 9 years later we now have 3 beautiful children... Our journey as husband and wife/parents hasn't always been an easy one. There are days I have thought & even said from time to time I can't do this. I can't be everything to everyone. More times than not I find myself thanking God for the blessing of being a Mommy but also thinking they deserve so much than someone like me to be their Mom. Being a parent can be so rewarding but also a challenge. My oldest, Brooklyn Elizabeth, is a strong willed independent, smart, and sassy little firecracker. I often find we butt heads but everyone says it is because she is like my little mini me inside (Obviously her father on the outside).. Then there is our middle child, Dawson Andrew.. I find him driving me nuts because he is so wild and outgoing but yet he can be so sensitive, sweet, and funny at the same time. And our little caboose baby, Maycen Kate.. She is still so young but her personality is developing. She knows what she wants & she is going to get it, she is rotten, mischeivious and full of life. The rotten part is mostly my fault just because I am so grateful that God allowed us to bring her into this world. The worst scariest moment is hearing that you & your child could possibly die. I often find myself feeling guilty because I have yelled at them or been snippy with them because I am either stressed out, or tired, or often times overwhelmed, or just because they are being kids! I am always comparing myself to other kid's parents who seem to never yell at them, they are the perfect "PTO/Homeroom parent", or just seem to be the perfect parent to their kids. This also leads me to feel so inadequate as a parent because I want to be that parent! I want to be the parent who never raises their voice, who is understanding and patient, who is always involved everything at school, and the list goes on and on.. But in reality I am not this parent. I have to work a full time job, be a wife, be their Mommy.  At times I just feel so overwhelmed with the fact I am 2 1/2 hours away from my family, from help, from my life 9 years ago. I may not be the "perfect parent" in other peoples eyes but there are a couple things I want my kids to always know #1) God WILL be the center of our family before anything else #2) They are loved more than they will ever know even in the times I feel frustration with them

So with that I am often reminded that no I am not a perfect parent or wife or friend or person. There was only 1 perfect person that walked this Earth and that isn't me!  I read these verses today & I am working on striving to live these out.

Galatians 6:4 We love to want what everyone else has. Instead of focusing on ourselves and what God has blessed us with, we focus on what God has given everyone else.

2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficent for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness, Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in y infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it

My commitment is to teach my kids the important things in life. It isn't about clothes, or money, or sports, or who has a nicer house or a nicer car it is about training them up in the way HE wants them to go. To send them boldly out into the world to tell about what HE was done for us not what their Mommy did when they were 8, 6, and 1.

A little of this a little of that..

Ok so yes I know I can offically be tagged with the title worst blogger in blogging history. Life seems to get the best of me these days & it takes all I can as it is to keep up without adding anything else to the mix.

So life for us is busy, busy, busy!! Seems like we are NEVER at home except to sleep & my checkbook can prove it. I don't think we have cooked more than a meal or 2 at home the last couple weeks. UGH gotta fix that!  So you ask what has kept us so busy lately?!?!

Well last weekend we decided to make a quick trip to Hot Springs and go to the horse races & then a quick trip to White Hall just so we didn't have to drive back to West Memphis on Saturday. We had a great time. I only bet on 1 race and when I lost my $2 I was over it. It was funny though because the next 3 races after I lost my money I picked the winners & it would have paid good because of course they were the long shot.. Oh well atleast we all know I don't have a problem because I can't stand throwing away money.  Brooklyn went on her 1st mission trip to the Monticello Children's Home with the church & had a great time. We missed her but so glad she gets opportunities like this!

So during the week both of my sweet "big kids" have ball practice.. It just so happened to work out that we were scheduled for every night of the week. Brooklyn also had choir practice. She is singing with the High School choir on Saturday April 27th and is very excited about the opportunity. She also had her end of the year concert for 3rd grade.. Wait did I really just say end of the year for 3rd grade?! Where has the time gone?!!!! 

They also had their 3rd 9 weeks awards this week. I have to say I am so proud that we have 2 smart little people on our hands.. Dawson got the Citizenship award which made this Mommy so supre proud! and Brooklyn was All A's and 1 B and Accelerated Reader Award!!!

So this past weekend we enjoyed an evening on the porch watching the kids play & grilled some steaks/veggies before I had to go help decorate for a wedding shower. Saturday was a day of running. Got up & cooked breakfast for the family (which I never do!), then errands, and I was hosting a wedding shower. After the shower I ran home & laid on the couch for an hour to recharge then it was up again.. We promised the kids we would go to the rodeo in Southaven, MS.. They really enjoyed it!! Yesterday was spent at church, followed by a nap while Daddy cleaned up the boat, then took Brooklyn to the nail salon. She was relaly excited that she got to be pampered (massage and nails painted)..

So anyway that is a quick recap of what has been going on in the Miller house the last couple weeks. This week it is track meet, ball practice, choir practice, followed by more ball practice :-)

Weekend Fun

Dawson enjoyed Oaklawn

Daddy & Maycen Kate

My sweet pumpkin at Fisherman Wharf

Dawson batting practice

Such smart kids

Just chillin on the porch

1st time making muffin omelets

She is ready for the Rodeo.. Bigger the bow the better the Mommy

 Rodeo Bound

Love these kids!

Dawson dude did you eat a smurf?!

Pampering

St. Louis Trip 2013

So Spring Break 2013 has come and gone :-( I enjoyed being at home with the kids & my wonderful Hubby. God has blessed me so much more than I deserve. I have a man who loves me so much and shows me how much he loves me (But don't get any ideas that you are romantic Mr. Miller because you & romance is nonexistent in the same sentence. LOL) he is also such an amazing Daddy to our 3 wild & crazy monkeys!

So vacation "officially" began at 3:30 on Wednesday afternoon. I couldn't get out of the door quick enough I was so stoked. I got home & we were able to reveal the big surprise to the kids when Aunt B, Kaitlynn, and Anna Claire arrived. They were fired up the rest of the weekend. There were times I honestly thought OK I am going to have to put handcuffs on them & gag them just for a moment of peace. LOL

Thursday morning we got up bright & early and began our voyage to St. Louis. Of course no trip to St. Louis is complete unless you stop & eat at Lambert's and my favorite part of Sykeston SHOPPING!!! We all got some really good deals & finished the rest of the trip to St. Louis. We arrived at the hotel with 5 wild & crazy kids. We went down to the pool & swam for a couple hours. I took 1 for the team & swam with them freezing cold the entire time. The pool was "heated" but not "heated" enough for me! I am a hot tub kinda girl. After a couple hours of wearing their little booties out we ordered pizza & then baths & bed.. Whew not sure who fell asleep 1st me or them. (my guess is me!).

Friday morning we got up bright & early again, went down in our PJs and ate breakfast, then back to the room to get ready for our fun filled day. We went to the City Museum. For those of you with kids this place was AMAZING!!! I am still so very sore today & just hoping I will make it through the hour long step aerobics class tonight without falling out & having to call an ambulance. I climbed 10 flights of stairs twice & slid down the 10 story slide twice.. Ugh tired Mommy. We crawled in holes, cracks, and places I never in a million years dreamed my butt would fit into. We had a great time "playing" with the kids!!! Friday night we went down to the Old Spaghetti Factory where we 1st had to take a horse & buggy ride because the kids just thought it was the coolest thing ever. I felt like I had been shaken up like a milkshake but the kids enjoyed it. I wasn't a fan of the food at the O.S.F but whatever just means I ate less!

Saturday we got up again bright & early, went downstairs in our PJs and ate breakfast, then back to the room to pack & venture out to the city again. We decided since it was supposed to be 57 degrees that we would venture to the zoo. It was a very nice zoo.. Not sure why people think Memphis is so great because the STL Zoo put Memphis to shame. We had a great time riding the train, simulator, carousel, and looking at all the animals. I am sure I am boring the crap out of all you but I really want to document our trip for the kids. So this part may be really stupid but I have never in my life seen an animal do this. If you asked me at the time if it scared me I would say no because you never act scared in front of your kids & husband, RIGHT? This gorilla they had on display lost its mind. It was like watching a scene from a movie. He was chewing on a crate & would get made throw it at someones face then pound the glass right where there face was. All I could think is if this gorilla breaks this glass we are in trouble!

Now for Tony's FAVORITE part of the trip. This dude watches Food Network ALL the time. I think some days he is trying to torture me because he will turn this on & then expect me not to eat ice cream, cupcakes, etc.. I mean really?! So he has gotten to where he watches Dine, Drive ins, and dives with Guy.. Well he just happened to watch an episode that was in St. Louis & noticed a place called Sweetie Pies. We got there & the line was forever long so in my mind I am thinking this better be good for me to stand in this line with 5 kids who are exhausted & not so happy for this long.  I have to say the place did NOT disappoint. I ate the best macaroni & cheese and banana pudding I have ever eaten in my ENTIRE life. I could have probably eaten my weight in this stuff.  After dinner we made the trek back home in the rain. I think the next trip I need some Zanex because I was freaking out the entire ride home.

Ready to Grub

Maycen pointing at the rolls being thrown

Anna Claire was ready

My roll eating dude (he ate like 5)

The girls

Dawson going down the Pencil slide

Anna Claire's turn

The Kaitlynn

Then Brooklyn

Aunt Krystal, nieces, and 2 of my babies

The girls spinning in the top

Ready for the zoo with my monkeys

And with Brooklyn too :-)

Maycen Kate was a thirsty girl

Train Ride

Petting Zoo

I am not sure what Brooklyn was doing with this Alpaca

Me & my beautiful blue eyed baby girl

Me & all the kids swimming :-)

Back to reality on Sunday (well sort of)... My amazing wonderful hubby let me go back to bed at 11:30 and I got to sleep to 1:30. Happy Spring Break to me!! In my defense I let them all sleep til 9:45 and I was up at 8 :-)  Then of course its unpack, laundry, grocery store, Walmart, cook, baths, etc...

Understanding

Do you often find yourself asking why?  I know we are to never question God but somethings I can't help but wonder why do good things happen to bad people?, why do bad things happen to good people?, why do daddys & mommys go away?, why can't people who would love to be a daddy & a mommy never get that opportunity? and the list goes on and on and on...

The events of the last week have left me asking again WHY?  As most of you know 1 year ago we got that dreaded knock that everyone fears. A Crittenden County policy office stood at our door & delivered news no one could prepare us for. For a long time it left me asking God why? What did we do? What didn't we do? I just don't understand.  It left me with a fear of car accidents, accidents period, the unknown.  As I look back on the week of the accident & the week after I see so many glipses of God that at the time I didn't see before.  It amazes me to think of God's goodness & grace to us who don't deserve it at all. Who am I to deserve what he has blessed me with.

This week a very dear friend to me lost someone she loves so much. Again I caught myself asking Why? Why her? Why now? Why so young? I think a lot of us were left with this question. Though we may never know the answer of why on this Earth we do know that God's timing, HIS plan, HIS will for our lives is PERFECT!!! At times I find myself struggling with this more than ever.

I started noticing as just young children we start asking this question of WHY? My kids are often asking why do we have to eat that? Why does so and so get so and so? Why do we have to go to the grocery store. I often find myself answering because I am the Mommy & I said so just do it. WOW how this struck me. Maybe I should stop asking why & learn to realize because my Father said so.  I need to just do it. HE is the MASTER he KNOWS the plans HE has for ME. He plans to give me a hope & future that today I can't see but HE can.

I know to some of you this post may not make sense but I pray that some day it will. If you don't know the love & grace of our Father Jesus Christ reach out to someone because your days are numbered. God knows the plans He has crafted for our lives but we don't. Life is precious & it is time that we start writing our very our memorial service!! What do you want to be said about you when you leave this Earth? Do you want it to be said that you loved the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might? Or do you want it to be said that you cared about yourself more than the work of the Lord? We need to start NOW with writing our life song.

Weekend with my loves!!!

So I always look forward to the weekends.. Well most of the time I do when we don't have a big cleaning party planned. LOL

So Friday night we decided to go to the Youth Mission Auction at our church. I had decided we weren't going because we didn't need to spend the money but a couple of our friends talked us into it. I left with the 1 thing I really wanted and needless to say got in trouble when I got in the car because we both agreed no money was to be spent... BUT I am super excited about having Zoom done!!!  I have always been so self conscience about my appearance so I am really excited to have brighter white teeth! Maybe since I have been tanning too that will help. YAY!!!

Saturday morning I was pumped when I got out of the bed because we were planning a trip to the zoo that day. Well I was quickly defeated when the 3 kids got up & immediately messed up the kitchen I had just spend 30 minutes cleaning so it would be clean when we returned home. And my sweet darling little Maycen Kate woke up acting like her Mommy in the mornings. NOT GOOD!!!  She was really trying my patience because she wanted nothing I tried to feed her (I went from scrambled eggs, to coco puff cereal, to toast, and finally even tried M&Ms) you know it isn't going to be a great day from the start when she keeps throwing everything at you or on the floor. Lord help me survive the terrible 2s...  So we pack up our stuff & head to the zoo. It was a beautiful day outside & I think everyone from Texas to Mississippi thought it would be a great day to enjoy the Memphis Zoo. We enjoyed our time as a family (minus the few fits that were thrown because we didn't do face painting, icees, or the String Ray Bay).. After leaving the zoo I decided I really needed some new tennis shoes! After all it has been almost 8 years since I bought ME a pair of tennis shoes. So we headed off to the Nike Outlet where I got me some super cute stylin kicks for super cheap :-) Saturday night we had Bible study with our good friends & enjoyed some fellowship time. This is something we typically do every Friday night & I must say I look forward to it & so do the kids!!!

Sunday we of course had church that morning. I went to the gym and put about an hour into my workout. Nothing too major but hey I went on a weekend that has to count for something right?! I am determined to have that super hot body by the summer (if that super hot body is possible because I never had it to begin with. LOL)... We spent the rest of the day folding clothes, cleaning, and just hanging out... 

We are on the countdown to the BIG reveal surprise for the kids.. 8 more days & we are ST LOUIS BOUND with my sister & sweet nieces. I can't wait to see the kids faces when they find out I haven't exactly been telling the truth about Spring Break :-)

I know it is going to seem like all the pictures are of me but Coach just isn't a camera person & we have to have something for the kids later on... Right?!!

 Me and my baby girl (Growing up)

 Cheetos are a girl's best friend (if you are Maycen Kate)

She was stylin & profilin in her giraffe pants

1st zoo trip she knew what was going on

Mommy &  her girls!

 My Little Man love him!

 Worn out!

Loving the animals & her new pink car!!!